Chance

Well, I took a chance.. not sure of the result.. I may have to ask again.

R 5/30/13 2:30p

Interest

Ok.. so I took a chance and texted B last night after work.
She responded with ' I was just gonna text you '..
We texted for a while. I got home and started a fire, made a drink and after a bit asked if I could call.
We talked for a while. She told me about her weekend and I told her about mine.
Finally I explained my 'epiphiany'.. and I told her I was holding back and regret that I did, because I really like her and over thought how I should have handled it. But didnt want to tell her and ruin her weekend.

She seemed to understand and was cool with it.
I dont think it changed anything about us... but it gives her something to think on.

R 5/29/13 5:38p

Now what

Not sure what to do next..
Do I explain it?..
If she had a great weekend I think I should leave well enough alone.. let it be.. dot muddle the waters..
Essentally.. back off.
I hate to do it.. but to be a true friend.. I should.
It isnt about me..its about her.
I love her enough to let her find her happiness ...
Even if it isnt with me.

R5/26/13 11:29p

Next step

So, do I explain myself..?
Let it go unless asked?

Or wait and see.

The answer to your question was, yes. It is about you.

I cannot tell you that because I dont want to ruin your weekend.
It is about me and why I think it didnt workout.
It probably dont matter at all.. it probably is what it is.

Once again my loss.

ISTBA

Time. . . . .
R 5/25/13 10:39p

lessons

I believe I have learned a valuable lesson today.
Sometimes I think way too much.. sometimes it pays off.. If I can apply what I have just learned, I may be happier in the future. :)


    I have always analyzed things in my life. But as time passes the analyzing has turned into more of a problem than a help.

    My lesson that I discovered today, is basically no matter how similar the situation... everything and everyone is different.. you have to step up instead of holding back.. even if you think you have figured out (incorrectly) that you should hold back.. in my case the reservation burned me.
 
 I didnt get burned, I missed out on something wonderful, I burned myself.

 Sometimes I forget the simpler answers.. overlook if you will. Sometimes you just got to do.. not think.
  
My problem... . Mine is over thinking.. trying to figure what would happen if I did this over that.. trying to analyze what I should do.. and end up not doing enough, Or just too much. But my epiphany is I just cannot compare the different situations. . They are all different..

What didn't work one time.. is probably what I should have done the next.. but I talked myself out of it and it ended up being my mistake.. if I didn't think about it so much, it would have probably worked out fine.

R 5/25/13 8:51p

Can I be wrong once in a while?

I may not know much about somethings..but if its gonna not go my way, im usually right on the $.

I am sure I blew it.. sorry B, I didnt realize I should have been going all for it.

My loss, as usual I figured it wrong.
I hope the new guy is good to you and it works out.

Now I just need to get over it and stop kicking myself, again, and fiv ure out how to have a nice summer.... alone again.

ISTBA...!! Thanks for not listening to me... you suck.

R 5/25/13 10:39a

Totally blew it

That is what I feel..
Didnt think I should have pushed how I felt.. stayed friendly... but didnt let it all out.. I mentioned that I wanted to see more of her... wanted to spend more time getting to know her... and she could get to know me...
I didnt want to take advantage or be the rebound guy..
So I played it cool.. it was hard.. but I succeeded. ..
She didnt feel me... I did it too well.
Not what I wanted at all...

Now its too late...

Bummer..

R 5/24/13 8:38p

So. Back to ..

ISTBA..
Yep, before it got too comfortable.. its basically over.
I did it wrong again..
I held back.. waited paitently, didnt press my luck.. and it was too slow...
Good for about a week..
Hmmm I seem to have said that before....

She basically said the last time I kissed her.. she didnt feel anything.. no chemistry...

Well I was trying not to be too affectionate, I really wanted a good kiss.. but I was afraid id scare her off... being too pushy, trging to move too fast...

Damn it.. wrong thing.. should have kissed her like I wanted to and showed her I meant it.. in stead of the quick peck.. ,

Cant go back now...
Im screwed..

Just friends..
:p

R 5/20/13

Snoozing

You snooze you lose....
Yes well... got the msg... call me.. I need to talk...
Lets just be friends...im not feeling the chemistry. .
No g ou are jot because ive been holding back.. not wanting to be pushy or the rebound guy.. my mistake...
I thought it was going so good.

R 5/20/13 2:52a

Last night

Oh yeah, I forgot told post about last night....it was a good night.. asked about going out, decided on going over...
Mimosas and rock band..
I should say great night.. just hung out and enjoyed each others company.

Talked a lot and played rockband for the first time..
I suck..
But it was a lot of fun and id do it again..
Cudled on the couch for a lil while.. but not much of anything ..
I said I like her and she asked what do you like about me...
I said she was Interesting... and I have always been interested...
She giggled... so I added I like her lil giggle... she said really? .

Yep..I do.. I noticed it a little while ago... .

Thinking I have to call her and talk to her. I like the way she sounds.. texting is so impersonal.. but. It works.. the delay is acceptable..
You can leave a msg and wait for the reply.... a bit more convenience.. but.. got to get to the phone.. its better... old school.. but to a person that deals with technology every day.. it might be nice to try..

Note to self.... try calling.. :)

R 5/18/13 11:43p

testing to see if you are getting sick of me

Way too early for this.. but it seems like its that time..
How annoying is it gonna be if I want to spend my free time with you?

I am taking it slow for a reason, because I think I have to, I may be wrong, and may miss the mark,
I may take too long, and you may think I am not interested.

I am, I just dont want to rush it, it has been rough for each of us the past few months and we are good together, as far as I can see.

But, trying not to be a pain in the ass.
I'm 'Intense"
so I am told.. but with good reason.
If I like you, I want you to like me too.. sometimes its just not done at the right pace.

My bad..

I hope I can figure this out someday..

Before I scare all the good ones away..

:(

 OK, its just being tired.. not a blow off..
(stop jumping to conclusions.. your gonna fall off the cliff)

I am good.. for now..
Time will tell..

R 05/18/13 10:30p

Am I

Well I have to ask myself.. what am I doing.
Am I setting myself up for a terrible experience?
Or one of the meaningful relationships.. one of those that teach you about yourself.. I am not too old to learn more about myself ..
Really I am hoping it will work out and be a lasting friendship and all that.

I am going to be optimistic..I like it and hope it will get great.

R
5/16/13

Date night

Wednesday.
Date night w/B. Beautiful as ever. Beer and natchos. I was more interested in talking and looking at her than eating.
We talked and talked. She talked, I talked. We played some pool and foosball. Fun and laughter, lots of smiles. Just a fun night. :)
And our first kiss. 2 actually.. just light kisses and lots of hugging at the end of the night. She was hugging me.. I was hugging back. :)

Finding more about her. And she asked me how old I am...
I paused.. and asked if I should lie to her... she said " dont ever lie to me or cheat on me. "
So I told her, she said her mom asked her, and she didnt know. So now she knows..and it don t seem to matter... :)

I am happy. ( ISTBA stay away! ) ..

Let me get through a Summer...for once...

Wondering.. how fast to move.. trying to pace and be slow..dont rush.. she just ended a bad thing..but she appears to be done and ready..but.. I dont want to rush it.. want to see if it will work. Want to be sure it is going to work for her.

We could be good, we seem to be a good fit.. time will tell..
Damn I am feeling happy.... :)

R 5/16/13

Friday

Thinking over it a bit.
Really enjoyed it.. no long awkward silences...plenty to talk about. Very comfortable. Two way conversation.. not just one doing all the talking...
Plus she was dressed up, really pretty, as always, but I know she dressed up to come out with me!
It was an effort not to stare..
I know others noticed how beautiful she is.
:)
And she was out with me! (Gloat)

I know she has plans this weekend, nephew staying over, and mothers day on Sunday. So I dont want to intrude on family stuff.

But its not easy, I want to get to know more of her and let her find out about me.

Time .
R 5/11/13

one night out

hello again..
Well I asked yesterday if she wanted to come out with me on Friday.
She agreed, and didnt cancel.
She even asked if I still wanted to go out!..
Liking that!
But to be a tease, I responded with "Nah, I dont feel like it"
waited a few seconds and then sent " just kidding.. Of course! "
She replied.. "too late already in my Pj's"..
I sent a Frown and she also said she was kidding.. and we met at OTB.

It was really cool and nice. She looked amazing.. Dolled up and pretty.
I felt good, knowing she was out with me..
We talked and ate, I had my steak and she had just cheese sticks..

It was really fun, and we got to know more about each other.
I did tell her I really like her and would like to spend more time with her.
I did remind her I have a few rain checks to cash in, 
I am hoping it wasnt too much,  but after she got home, we talked about going to the movies soon.


We will see..

R
05/10/13

Not

Well the wait was blocked.
She cancelled, but we chatted for about an hour.
I mentioned, she has given me a bunch of rain checks.. and I will cash them in...
She seemd to like that I am persistent.. if not. 'Intense' so. Ive been told.. some people just cant handle ' intense' ... I think I am just committed. . Not need to be committed. .

She seems like she can be a lot of fun.. I am hoping we can figure that out.

Backeast..has been holding me at arms lenght.. and I dont know why.. I didnt do any thing other than be me.. intense that I was...

I have been trying to get more than a good morning out of her. Its like puling teeth.. I didnt stop ...
It is what it is..

Anyway.. trying to take the next step..

Not holding my breath....

Just hoping..

R 5/04/13 11:48p

Lets see

Wait and see.
It would be a nice thing..
But I just may have to wait


R5/3/13 7:49p